It's a Small World

Rainy Day

2006-11-02T17:02:00.000-08:00

It's raining today which is actually a nice change, it finally feels like Fall and Winter are here. I wasn't sure what Matteo and I could do today since I have a hard enough time walking downtown to the YMCA even under the best weather conditions lately. It was nice that Matteo took a nice long 90 minute nap this morning and afterwards seemed to be in a good mood so I packed him up to have lunch with Ivan at the food court near his work. There is something so sweet about watching the two of them together that makes me so happy. Matteo is so happy when he's around his dad and Ivan is so in love with his boy, watching my two favorite people in the world so happy together makes my heart melt.

After lunch I decided to take Matteo to a place in Berkeley called Studio Grow. It's a great play space for toddlers. There are a bunch of different "theme" rooms (tumble room, art room, etc) and they're all connected together so I can let Matteo crawl around to his hearts desire. It's kind of expensive ($6/person- so $12 for the 2 of us) so I probably kept Matteo there longer than he would have liked (2 hours) just to get our moneys worth. I ran into a mom who had been in my prenatal and postnatal yoga classes and another mom and her son who were in Matteo's swim class last Spring. It's kind of funny what a small stay-at-home-mom community there is in Berkeley, we're always running into each other at classes and playgrounds. I really like these women, but never know how to ask for their numbers to set up playdates. Someone once compared dating to the politics of playdates and making new mom friends. You meet people and make a connection, but taking the next step of asking for a phone number or email address is a little intimidating. At this point with the baby coming, I also find it hard because the dynamics of having a newborn and doing a playdate with toddlers is going to be a challenge as I've noticed with my friends with 2 kids. I know it'll all come together, it's just all very strange going from no kids to 2 kids in less than a year and a half and creating a new social network.

Happy Halloween

2006-10-31T19:26:00.000-08:00

Halloween got off to a good start with Matteo and I both sleeping mostly through the night. This morning I dressed him in a hand me down cow costume from Thomas (thanks Minnie!) - he looked totally adorable. We did some shopping errands this afternoon and everyone complimented me on my cute little cow :). We were going to go over to the neighbors tonight, Diego and Mateo's, for dinner and trick or treating, but Matteo has been kind of a bear with this time change, so we ended up just going for a walk around the block and stopping off at a few friends to say hi. Ivan and I figured that Matteo doesn't really understand what's going on with Halloween yet anyway and can't eat the candy either- so we'll make a bigger deal of it when he's older (and I'm hopefully not so freaking tired and pregnant).

I had my weekly Dr's appt this afternoon and saw the obgyn who I was with when I was pregnant with Matteo (my usual dr is on vacation). Dr. Ahszan is so great, I asked her if it would be OK if I switched back to her after this pregnancy and she said she'd be honored to have me. I so love her, she's so much nicer than Dr. Kim and she spent more than 5 minutes seeing me and answering my questions. Dr Kim had been freaking me out, recommending that I possibly schedule the C Section earlier because it looks like I'm going to have another big baby, but Dr A. agrees with me that there's no reason to deliver any earlier if I'm feeling OK. whew.

It's only 7:30, but I think I'm going to go to bed early, am feeling so wiped out.

These last few weeks

2006-10-30T18:39:00.000-08:00

A little over 2 weeks until I have this baby. It is simply a matter of survival at this point. I wake up in the middle of the night and can't fall back asleep, which leaves me a total zombie during the day for Matteo :(. The poor little guy has been having such a hard time understanding why his mom can't pick him up as often as she used to. Ivan has been a total prince. I'm coming down with something so he took today off to help me out with Matteo. I'm a very lucky girl.

The baby has been kicking like crazy. It's kind of cute, kind of freaky. The other night, Ivan and I watched his foot move across my stomach for 10 minutes. Matteo must have been in a different position in utero because his movements weren't as pronounced.

I'm so exhausted, there aren't enough hours in the day for sleep.

On the Bandwagon

2006-09-22T19:28:00.000-07:00

I'm a loser. I totally bought into the Elmo TMX hype. Went to four stores this week trying to find it and sent my mom on a mission to check Modesto stores for it. Mom totally came through-yay for grandmothers!.

What's kind of ridiculous about the whole thing is that I don't really even let Matteo watch much TV so he has no clue who Elmo is (except that he has another Elmo toy- the Chicken Dance Elmo). It is kind of funny to play with, but gosh- no way would I spend the $100 people on Craigslist and eBay are selling it for.

I think it was all about the challenge of finding one that got me all riled up, I need to get a hobby.

Pregnancy Insomnia

2006-09-15T02:29:00.000-07:00

This truly sucks. This past week, I've been up twice in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep. Matteo has been sleeping through the night for months now and I was relishing finally getting a full nights rest and then the pregnancy insomnia hit. After the baby gets here, I don't even know when I'll be able to sleep again. sigh.

Matteo is getting to be so cute. It's been so much fun to play with him these past few months. He's a lot more interactive and has the best facial expressions. He's the only baby I know that raises one eyebrow ;}. Tonight at dinner he totally slayed me by doing the gross tongue face that Ivan does to annoy me (they both can curl their bottom lips inside out, it must be some kind of genetic abnormality)... how in the hell did he learn to do that?

We've decided to name the baby Felix Michel. Felix means "happy, lucky" in Latin and Michel is Ivan's dads name. The pregnancy has been really uneventful, but I am really starting to feel it lately. I've been really tired by the end of the day. When I was pregnant with Matteo, I spent most of my time sitting at a desk or commuting in my car. This time around I've had to be much more active, taking Matteo to the park or babygym everyday and walking the neighbors dog 3 afternoons a week. I've only gained 14 pounds so far (week 30) and my glucose screen results were great so I definitely am healthier than I was during the last pregnancy, but it's really a struggle trying to make it through these last 2 months. I'm really worried sometimes that I'm not active enough for Matteo. I wonder if I could be doing more to help him start walking on his own. He just turned a year old and his pediatrician says that he's right on track, but I find that I worry every time a milestone approaches. Ivan keeps me sane by reminding me of the other areas that Matteo is developing in.

Aargh, I've been up for and hour and a half already. I'm going to try and go back to sleep so I can have a few hours under my belt before Matteo wakes up.

My Little Romeo

2006-08-13T09:42:00.000-07:00

Matteo has been going to Music Together classes this summer. They have been a lot of fun and his cousin Elodie is in the class as well as my friend Kerry's daughter, Emily. Yesterday in class, Matteo was feeling pretty social, crawling around to different kids and parents. At one point he just sat himself in front of another couple and played with his xylophone thing in front of them completely ignoring Ivan and I (little twerp ;} ). At the end of every class, we all lay down on the floor and sing a lullaby. During the lullaby yesterday, Matteo crawled over to a little 16 month old girl named Isabelle and started stroking her face, leaning down to kiss her on the forehead and then pulled her pigtails! He looked at me after he did it, saw me totally cracking up, did his little eyebrow raise thing like "hey, look what a playa I am", smiled and did it about 4-5 more times! Isabelle was giggling the entire time an her dad, very humorously said "Maybe I should ask him his intentions". LOL.

Great Day!

2006-06-23T19:57:00.000-07:00

Finally, a break in the heat today...YAY! It's been miserable the past few days. Matteo and I had been keeping most of our activities in the morning and by the afternoon we've been driving each other crazy cooped up in the house.

Today was a really great, fun day! In the morning, we went over to our neighbor Melissa's house so Matteo could play with her boys, Diego (age 2) and Mateo (9 months). The boys are used to wrestling with each other and it was pretty funny to watch them crawl all over Matteo and have him give this look like "what the hell are you doing?". I'm pretty excited for Matteo to have his own sister or brother to play with. In the meantime, Diego and Mateo are pretty great playmates!

Afterwards, we met my friend Jenny and her son, Hugo (16 months) at the BART station to go into the city to see the Latin Youth Jazz Ensemble at Yerba Buena Gardens. It was so much fun! We laid out a blanket and had our lunch while listening to some great music. After we ate, we joined other people salsa dancing in front of the stage. Matteo was having such a good time laughing and dancing with me... I so love that boy :). We bought 3 different kinds of cream puffs- vanilla, chocolate and green tea- YUM! Matteo was so well behaved, he slept on BART on the way there and then had a good time making faces with Jenny on the way back. Since it was so nice and cool today, when we got back into Berkeley I took Matteo over to Totland since he didn't have a lot of time today to just crawl around and play.

Matteo is now asleep in bed. Ivan and I almost ate an entire extra large pizza from Round Table and I feel like I'm totally buzzed. Matteo has been sleeping through the night (at least 10 hours) the past 5 nights... I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this is a new phase he's enterred. But for now, I'm feeling great knowing it's Friday night and a terrific start to our weekend.

Melancholy

2006-06-19T20:30:00.000-07:00

Tonight feels like a Sunday night- in a bad way. Ivan has had the past 3 days off and he has to go back to work tomorrow. It's been so crazy the past few weeks. On the weekends, he's been busting his butt to get the lawn done and then we had guests. It has felt like a long time since we had some down time as a family. This weekend was so great. We didn't do anything spectacular, but it was nice to do some of the small things we used to do before it got busy, like going to brunch at Jimmy Beans, napping during the day and playing at the park. Matteo just loves being with his dad. Ivan wears Matteo in the Bjorn when they go for walks and it so adorable how Matteo gets so excited and kicks his legs and waves his arms.

We got the pictures back from our photo shoot in March on Friday. They are absolutely amazing! We did a storyboard of 3 pictures- one of Ivan and Matteo, me and Matteo and then Matteo by himself... the photographer really captured the tenderness in our relationships. I got teary eyed when I first saw it. I hope when Matteo is older and looks at these he'll know how much he's been loved from the very beginning. I love these pictures so much, I find myself just walking into the dining room so I can look at them. I'm looking forward to another photo shoot with the new baby in a year or two (expenses allowing).

Today Matteo crawled up the stairs pretty quickly on his own, that boy never ceases to amaze me. In a few months, he'll be getting up those stairs faster than I can with my big pregnant ass. Baby gates, here we come...

New Tricks

2006-06-05T21:13:00.000-07:00

Matteo showed me 2 new things today:

1) He can now go from a crawling position to sitting upright on his own. Very cute.
2) He can throw his blocks. At me. Not so cute.

...sigh...

Back Again

2006-06-02T19:07:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile since I've posted. I really can't believe how much harder this pregnancy has been than the last one. I think the major difference is that I spent the last one sitting at a desk in front of a computer all day and now I am spending my days chasing after Matteo (insert rueful smile). So at the end of the day instead of blogging, I'm pretty much crashed out on the couch watching TV. My little buddy and I have had so much fun this spring, going to his first Giants game, trekking into the city for free museum day, going to lunch and movies together and I'm starting to feel a little sad that as this pregnancy progresses, it's going to be a lot harder for the two (and a half!) of us to get around.

Matteo is finally on a regular sleep schedule and he just started sleeping in his own room last week! I was pretty surprised that the sleep training went so relatively painlessly, but I am going to chalk it up to he was just ready for it.

This week he started climbing up stairs, which is both pretty exciting AND scary, given that we haven't put up gates yet. It was very sweet the past two days where he just started going up them to find Ivan. He sure loves his dad :).

Ivan has been working on putting in sod in the yard for the past week, hopefully it'll be finished this weekend. The yard has pretty much been a disaster since we bought the place 3 years ago. It's amazing all the construction crap we're still finding in the yard. I can't believe that it's finally shaping up into an area where I'll actually want to spend time. It's very touching how hard Ivan has been working making a pretty, safe place for his kids (and wife) to play.

The News

2006-04-23T20:41:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I posted- thanks to Matteo ripping the space bar off of my laptop and not yet wanting to write about the Big News, which is... I am pregnant again :). I am 9 weeks along right now and have been fighting the toxic pregnancy hormones (ie, nausea, moodiness, etc.). I'm excited about having another baby and am slowly getting over the fear of taking care of 2 kids under 2 years old. I think my worries now are mostly about wanting to make sure that Matteo is OK with this big change coming up.

Matteo has been so amazing the past few weeks! He's crawling on his elbows and knees getting faster every day. I can't really leave him alone in a room for a moment. Ivan and I have some serious babyproofing to do.

Gonna hit the hay early tonight...

My Separation Anxiety

2006-03-26T21:03:00.000-08:00

Ivan and I have been talking for awhile about hiring a babysitter for Matteo a few afternoons a week. I had been dragging my feet on looking for someone because it's such a scary idea to me to have someone outside the family watch my precious little man. It also feels incredibly decadent to pay for a babysitter for Matteo when I am not working. But Matteo has been having such a hard time with anyone other than Ivan and I that we decided that we really need to have Matteo get acclimated to other people. A few weeks ago I ran into someone from my birthing class who is a stay at home mom too. She has a woman named Norma watching her baby girl a few mornings a week and was really thrilled with her. So last week I met with Norma, called her references-who all LOVED her- and she is starting tomorrow. Needless to say, I am little freaked out tonight. I know intellectually, everything should be fine. But I worry about things like will she look both ways when crossing the street with Matteo in the stroller? Will Matteo take his first steps with Norma rather than me? I know this is for the best, but it's so hard. I looked into Matteo sleeping tonight and I was a little sad inside thinking that I am abandoning him. It's only 2 afternoons a week and I know I'll really appreciate the break and free time... it just makes me sad.

Our Day In The City

2006-03-07T21:00:00.000-08:00

Today was the first Tuesday of the month, so Matteo and I went into the San Francisco to take advantage of free museum day. Last month we went to the Asian Art Museum, which was really cool since there were a lot of activities surrounding the Chinese New Year. Today we decided to go to the Museum of Modern Art. Last month when we went into the city, I carried Matteo in the Bjorn with a full diaper bag and was pretty exhausted by the end of the day (FYI- we BART into the city ALWAYS for a number of reasons ranging from I hate losing my parking spot near our house to the fact that I am a terribly impatient driver and would probably take someone out trying to get in and out of the city). This time, I decided to try using the stroller and that was a HUGE mistake. You have to take at least 2 separate elevators down to the BART trains and they smell like piss. At the museum it was crowded-being the free day and all- and it's almost impossible to get around with a stroller without running over someone's foot. I now can fully appreciate the freedom of just having him on me in a carrier.

ANYWAY... enough bitching and moaning about THAT... The exhibits were really cool at MOMA. Usually modern art flies right over my head, but the Surreal Calder exhibit of metal mobiles and sculptures was really neat. There was also an exhibit of photos from the 1906 Earthquake which were pretty interesting. As with our last museum visit, Matteo slept during most of it. So I don't know if I get many supermom points for doing this monthly museum thing with him, but I know that I at least have a good time :) (Logistic stroller woes and all). After the museum, Matteo and I went to the Yerba Buena Gardens and played on the grass for awhile. He really enjoyed watching the water sculptures and I had so much fun being with him. He was smiling and giggling so much, I felt like the luckiest person in the world to be his mom.

@$%* Tivo!

2006-03-05T22:30:00.000-08:00

I love movies, therefore I love the Oscars. I love Jon Stewart, Jon Stewart hosted the Oscars... so what a combination to make me happy right? Well, GD (*goshdarn) Tivo cut off the last 15 minutes of the show tonight, which everyone knows it the most important part of the awards. Why, oh why can't Tivo continue to tape until a show is completely over? I can almost take it when it cuts off previews of upcoming episodes of Lost, but to mess with the Oscars like that is just downright mean and nasty. I felt like I didn't get the chance to say goodnight to my boyfriend, Jon :(.

OK, that will be the end of my ranting on that subject (as long as Tivo doesn't f*ck with the Sopranos premiere next week). I have to say the song "It's Hard Out Here For a Pimp" winning the Best Oscar for original song, was the coolest moment of the night! I also LOVED the movie Crash so I was excited that it won Best Film, now I am going to try and rent it on DVD again (along with everyone else). I'm watching ABC's aftershow coverage right now and it is so bad that it's funny. They obviously have no juice- they're interviewing people like Cheryl Tiegs, Suzanne Somers and Ben Stiller's wife.... crazy.

The Family Portrait

2006-03-04T00:49:00.000-08:00

For our anniversary, Ivan gave us a photo session with a photographer whose work I've been admiring for awhile. He thought it would be nice to have a family portrait done of the three of us for our first anniversary. I totally cried when he gave me the gift certificate. I really don't think guys come any better than my sweet, thoughtful husband :) . Today we went in for the photo session and it was fun, though Matteo was kind of having a hard time of it. We started out with casual pictures of Ivan and I in black turtlenecks and jeans and Matteo just in denim overalls (I have to say he was pretty yummy and delicious looking!). Since Matteo has a tooth coming in, I think he had his hand in his mouth in almost every image. We tried to do a few black and white naked baby pictures, but Matteo didn't like to pose by himself. It seemed to come together when we did pictures of the three of us with this gold fabric wrapped around me, Ivan bare-chested and Matteo naked. Kirsten, the photographer was really great at putting us all at ease. She's been doing this for over 20 years so I have faith she was able to get at least one or two good images. We have an appointment scheduled at the end of the month to see slides of all the images. I'm pretty tired today after just a three hour photo session, but I'm excited to see how it all comes out.

Give Me My Drugs

2006-03-04T00:44:00.000-08:00

It's after midnight and I am miserable with this cold. I just checked kellymom.com and it said taking Sudafed while breastfeeding presents a moderate risk. It wasn't a joke when someone told me that even after I give birth my body STILL isn't mine. Just going to have to suck it up :(.

Feeling Winter

2006-03-01T20:06:00.000-08:00

I think I'm coming down with a cold, there's been rain off and on the past few days and my poor baby Matteo has a bit of a cough. Total buzzkill after the past few weeks of gorgeous weather :(. I had been trying to prepare myself for having to stay indoors this week. I rented tons of DVD's from Elephant (gotta love those $1 rentals) and ended up watching just one of them. Matteo gets pretty fussy if he's indoors for too long. It's funny how fast he calms down when he sees Ivan or I put on the Baby Bjorn. As soon as we load him into it, he starts kicking his feet pretty excitedly- he's such a doll. I'm hoping that we'll get more of these unexpected sunny days so my little guy can enjoy the outdoors.

Workouts have been pretty good so far. Ivan, Matteo and I did our 2-3 mile "Family Run" on Sunday, I did a weight workout at the Y on Monday and swam last night. I need to get on my bike soon. I feel like a total loser for not getting on the bike and trainer that Ivan gave me for my birthday as often as I should. I think if I go to one spin class it'll help transition me to the biking mindset. OR maybe if I can find my iPod, I can play music to motivate me while I ride indoors... who am I kidding? I should stop making excuses and just do it.

The Perfect Day and My Identity Crisis

2006-02-23T21:47:00.000-08:00

The weather has been so gorgeous lately! It's been so fun to spend most of the days outdoors with Matteo. After a weeklong hiatus from running due to my unfortunate Dansko moment which left me flat on my face on Shattuck Ave- Matteo and I returned to Baby Bootcamp today. I felt like a total Clydesdale trying to run around the Berkeley Marina, but it was so nice out and the view was incredible and Matteo slept through most of class... it was a great workout! Afterwards we met Kerry, Karina and Elodie for lunch at the Bread Workshop (yum!) and then after a quick nap at home, Matteo and I went for a walk and spent the rest of the afternoon playing at Totland Park. He was incredibly playful, giggling and grabbing his toes on our picnic blanket- I must have smothered him with a thousand kisses :). I love being his mom.

Last night I went to an informational meeting for the Berkeley YMCA Triathlon club. I think it would be great to do a triathlon this summer and I know getting involved in a group training program is the only way I'll actually stick to a training schedule. One of the big reasons I'm doing interested in doing this is so I have something in my life other than being a mom. The funny thing is that I've settled very comfortably into the "mom role" that it's a little scary to go out into the world by myself without Matteo as my security blanket. For the past 6 months, I've always had Matteo with me in everything I do and everyone I've come into contact with has been so incredibly nice to me because I've had this adorable baby strapped to me. Now I am putting myself back out there where I am just Marina. I wonder will people still be as nice? And how will my fragile self esteem handle it when they most likely will not? It's strange how much I've come to depend on Matteo instead of the other way around.

Busy, Busy, Busy

2006-02-22T21:37:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's been a month since I posted last! I've been pretty busy fulfilling my New Year's resolution to get out of the house more and find new mom friends. Matteo and I have had a full schedule with story time on Mondays, Baby Bootcamp on Tuesdays and Thursdays and yoga on Fridays. It's been great to meet other stay at home moms and I think Matteo has really benefitted from interaction with other babies. We've made a lot of new friends and it's been great getting together for mom and baby playdates.

This week I started taking Matteo to the YMCA to the Childwatch childcare they have there. He's been pretty fussy with most people and has only let Ivan and I hold him. I figured if I left him at Childwatch for short periods of time (20 minutes) he'd start getting more comfortable around others. It's been amazing how easily he's been acclimating to it! The first time, I just went to the stretching area for 15 minutes and kept my eye on the door, waiting for a childwatch person to come in and tell me that Matteo was screaming his head off. I was in total shock when the childwatch person came by to just let me know that Matteo was having a good time playing on the floor with the other kids and that I could take more time if I needed to! YAY! Seriously, I got a little teary eyed from RELIEF. I had visions of Ivan and I actually being able to go out sometime to a movie or dinner, sans baby.

Matteo is growing up so fast. He's started laughing and chatting more the past few weeks. He's so much fun. In a few weeks, he starts swimming lessons... I can't believe how fast the time flies. I am so happy to be able to spend this time with him at home :).

Walking the Line

2006-01-23T23:57:00.000-08:00

It's been a pretty busy week. I've been going to baby bootcamp and mom and baby yoga during the week. Matteo and I have been going on a lot of walks lately, trying to make the most of the nice weather while it lasts. Yesterday, Ivan, Matteo and I walked to Cafe Fanny for brunch and then all the way to 4th street. It was such a gorgeous day!

Tonight Ivan, Matteo and I met Karina and Elodie at the Parkway Theater for Baby Brigade movie night. The movie was "Walk the Line", which I thought was OK... I was just so excited to be getting out and watching a movie! There were a lot of parents there with babies who must have been experiencing the same feeling of freedom judging by the look on their faces- it was like "wow, I'm actually out of the house with the baby!".

Matteo just keeps growing up so fast! He likes to grab his toes a lot (especially while I'm trying to change his diaper) and also turn over. He's making a little bit of progress in the crawling department- he's managing to scoot a few inches forward but he's using his face on the ground for balance. I just love that little guy so much. Last week he was sitting high up in my arms and turned his face to mine and gave me a big open mouth kiss on my cheek. He could have just been using my cheek as a teething device, but I prefer to call it his first kiss... xoxoxo

Insomnia Sucks

2006-01-16T03:32:00.000-08:00

So it's 3:30 AM and I can't sleep.

It's been a busy weekend. Ivan's dad was here on Friday and Saturday. Sunday we went to Modesto for my dad's retirement party. The house is a mess and I can't stop ruminating over this sitatuation with someone who despises me. Won't waste anytime going into here, but I know I should tell myself I did everything I could to make the situation better and from here on out, it's that persons problem and out of my hands. I just wish I knew a way (short of a lobotomy) to keep from thinking about it.

Matteo was so sweet to watch sleeping tonight. He looks so much like a little boy when he sleeps. He's growing up so fast and doesn't seem like a baby anymore. He tries to wiggle out of my arms while we're sitting on the floor sometimes so he can play with his toys. It's so cute to see him roll over from his back to his tummy, but then he gets so frustrated that he can't crawl. He ends up in a face plant, kicking his legs against the floor really upset. I want to help him crawl, but I know there's really nothing I can do put to pick him up or turn him over. I guess it's just a taste of parenthood in the future where you want to do everything you can for your kids, but sometimes (mosttimes) you probably have to let them do it for themselves so they can learn.

My happy thought right now is thinking of times when Ivan holds Matteo. I love looking at my two guys. It's so sweet how Matteo will smile at me while his daddy is holding him. Those are the moments that my heart feels so full of love, I can't stand it.

OK, I feel better now... think I'll go upstairs and cuddle up with my guys...

Baby, You Oughta Be In Pictures

2006-01-12T22:55:00.000-08:00

At Matteo's chiropractic appointment this morning his doctor asked if she could use his picture for her website. She said that he has such a pretty look of purity and innocence. I thought that was really sweet. She also said she was working with a biodiesel company and that his image was what she would love to use for that company (again, the purity and innocence thing). Of course Ivan and I think Matteo is a gorgeous little thing, but it's always really nice to hear from others. Who knows if any of it will happen, but at least 16 years from now when we're possibly grounding Matteo for drinking all of our wine/beer and/or stealing our car and driving to Las Vegas I can look back at this and repeat to myself "purity, innocence"....

Return of the Chocolate Things

2006-01-12T22:38:00.000-08:00

One of my daily rituals is to load up Matteo in warm clothes and go to the Cheeseboard every morning. For those of you not familiar with the Cheeseboard, it's an amazing cheese shop/bakery. They bake everything fresh every morning and my usual treat there is a chocolate thing which is essentially a bread roll with hunks of chococlate baked into it (yes, that's what it's really called. Though for the longest time, I called it a chocolate thingy). If you get to the Cheeseboard right when it opens at 7AM, the bread is still warm from the oven and the chocolate just drips from the roll... deeeeeelish! I've been walking an hour to 2 hours a day pretty regularly, but haven't lost much weight- I've decided that the chocolate things are to blame- so for the new year, I am allowing myself one a week. Friday was supposed to be the day, but the Cheeseboard was closed for 10 days for the holidays (horrors!) and reopened on Wednesday, so I was right there at 7:30 to get my chocolate thing. The funny thing is, after 10 days cold turkey, I found that I didn't love them as much as I used to... whoda thunk it? Maybe I'll start getting something healthier like a bran muffin... I mean I can't STOP going there entirely. There's a woman who works there who Matteo always flirts with, why should he suffer just because his momma is a recovering chocolate addict???

Tonight was pretty funny. Ivan and I were recovering from long days and I asked him "so what form are we having our chocolate in tonight? Cake? Ice cream? pudding? candy bar?" ( We ended up having Ben and Jerry Gobstopper Ice Cream sundaes). I'm sure there has to be 12 step program for people like us.

Bootcamp on the Bay

2006-01-10T22:07:00.000-08:00

The movie at the Metreon today was "Casanova"...meh.. I've been dying to see the other Heath Ledger movie. So Matteo and I ended up going to Baby Bootcamp this morning. It was overcast and a little chilly, but it was nice to be outside at the Berkeley Marina. Matteo had a few moments of fussiness, but overall I think it was pretty fun. I feel pretty tired tonight, like I got a good workout so I think I'll try and go at least once a week. We had a really nice treat afterwards having lunch with Ivan. It's so sweet how excited my boys are to see each other :).

Monday Blues

2006-01-09T23:22:00.000-08:00

About 6 months ago, I hated Mondays because it always meant having to go back to work. Though I don't have to go into an office anymore, Monday is still kind of sucky since it means Ivan is at work and Matteo and I miss him :(.

This morning Matteo and I walked over to Cafe Fanny to try the Cafe Au Lait that Craig raved about. I have to admit, it was worth the $4 for a cup of coffee. We stopped by the library so I could finally get a library card and it was storytime for 6 month-3 year old kids. It was kind of funny because I think it lasted for all of 10 minutes. I'll probably take Matteo there in a few months anyway as it seems like something cool to do to hopefully get him into reading and the library. I remember when I was a kid, I LOVED the library. The only way my dad could get me to go to piano lessons was to promise to stop by the library after the lessons.

This afternoon was a little bit trying as I was at a loss as to what Matteo and I should be doing. He had a nap, ate lunch, we read a book and then he got tired of playing on the floor and his gymini. I tried putting him alone in his pack and play so he could get a break from the stimulation, but he didn't want to be put down. What do other stay at home moms do?! Sometimes I wonder if I'm cut out for this (sigh).

Tonight Ivan and I took down the Christmas decorations, it was such a relief... it was driving me crazy looking at them and dreading having to put them away. Thankfully it didn't take too long.

I'm totally exhausted and wiped out now. Tomorrow Matteo and I were going to go to Baby bootcamp, but I'm thinking we may blow it off if there's a good movie playing at the Metreon for the stroller brigade. How great would it be to finally see a movie again...

Mon Petit Gourmet

2006-01-07T23:35:00.000-08:00

Saturdays are one of my favorite days of the week. After a week of watching Matteo all day at home by myself, it's fun to have Ivan around to share all the cute little things that Matteo does. Today we walked over to the farmers market to buy some organic vegetables and fruits to make Matteo's first few solid meals. We picked up acorn squash, sweet potatoes and Asian pears. I'm actually going to try to cook Matteo's food for him- I'm thinking it's got to be way easier than cooking grown up food since it just involves one ingrediant that you mash up or puree :).

When we got home, I broke out the garlic quark and rustic kalamata olive bread that we bought at the farmers market for lunch. Ivan was holding Matteo so I put together a piece for him. Our funny, quick, little guy scooped down with his hand and swiped at the cheese and tried to put it in his mouth. Ivan and I thought it was pretty funny that he doesn't even look twice at our food when it's just Round Table pizza, but the first solid food he goes for is the gourmet cheese and bread :).

One of my favorite mom moments happened this afternoon when Matteo and I napped together. I moved my face close to his so I could feel his breath. In his sleep, he reached up and layed his hand on my cheek and let it rest there. Every sad or unhappy moment in my life was totally worth living through for bringing me to that moment where I felt so much love for my son. I can't wait for more moments like that one.

Crunch, Crunch, Crunch

2006-01-05T19:50:00.000-08:00

The past few weeks I've realized how much I've embraced the Berkeley culture and lifestyle. In my past music business lifestyle, I was all about the Prada handbags, sexy high heel shoes and dinners at the newest, hottest restaurants... nowadays I walk around the neighborhood buying organic chicken wearing yoga pants, clogs and my special knit cap, handmade by a womens group in the Andes Mountains in Peru. Really, does it get much crunchier than that? Ivan says all we are missing is the NPR or Greenpeace sticker on the back of the Volvo station wagon. While we have the accoutrements of the liberal, eco-friendly lifestyle, I really do believe that it's more than just a costume. I feel (and hope) that I now have a bigger view of the world and the repercussions of my choices on the environment and community around me.

I've taken Matteo to a chiropractor for Cranio-sacral therapy a few times. I can actually hear the giggles now from the 3 of you who probably are reading this, but seriously, I really do think Matteo has benefitted from it. Basically the therapy is a light touch chiropractic treatment. Within days of his first treatment, Matteo was rolling both ways front and back and vocalizing like crazy. Ivan and I even noticed the ridge on the top of his head seemed less pronounced. The chiropractor doesn't believe in babies getting the full round of immunization shots. That's where I draw the line on crunchy though. Matteo hasn't shown any adverse reactions to his vaccinations and I don't think I could live with myself if he ever (god forbid) contracted one of the diseases that could have been avoided with the shots.

So my last thoughts on crunchy... gDiapers (www.gDiapers.com)... love them and want to spread the gospel on them. In a nutshell they are cloth diaper covers with flushable inserts- a hybrid of cloth and disposable diapers. Matteo had seemed a little constrained with his disposable diapers (the paper seemed to chaf around his chubby little thighs) so when I saw these gDiapers with the cute cotton covers I thought I'd give them a try. Boy, I never knew that diapers could be so much fun! While I realize that watching diapers disentegrate in the toilet may not be most people's idea of fun- for some reason, I am totally mesmerized by it. Yes, Virgina, I will find a hobby soon.

Things I Love

2006-01-05T18:42:00.000-08:00

Feeling a little writers block, so I thought I'd start with my favorite things list for 2006...

1. Listening to Matteo giggle
2. Hugs at the end of the day from Ivan
3. Getting The New Yorker in the mail each week
4. Watching the Daily Show with Jon Stewart ( I really do love that man and his special correspondant, Rob Corrdry) with my clever husband's running commentary
5. gDiapers (www.gdiapers.com)
6. Ivan's fancy French hambugers
7. Hannah Andersson's semi annual sale
8. The Sopranos new season starting in March!
9. Peanut butter, banana, and honey sandwiches
10. Matteo grabbing my head and biting my nose

My new life

2005-12-29T23:57:00.000-08:00

I'm a mom.

That is the scariest and yet, most wonderful thing I could ever imagine saying. Matteo is the such an incredible little person, I often wonder how I got to be so fortunate to be his mother.

Today, Ivan and I took Matteo to a place where you could paint your own pottery. We did a platter with his footprints for my parents and a small bowl for ourselves. Matteo was so adorable with his teal colored toes, giggling at the very sweet girl who was inking his feet. He got a little fussy, so we only did 2 pieces, we'll try to go back another time so we can do some pottery for Ivan's folks.

The holidays were crazy this year. I am still recovering from the 3 different Christmases we had. Ivan's parents are divorced, so we did a Christmas weekend with his mom in the Bay Area before the actual Christmas day, had Christmas dinner with my parents in Modesto and then spent the 2 days after Christmas in Redding with Ivan's dad. It was nice to spend time with everyone, but I am pretty tired. Matteo was totally spoiled by everyone with clothes and lots of toys. He's such a little prince ; ).

Matteo is up sleeping alone in his crib tonight. It's the second time he's ever done that. The first time I was so broken hearted that my little guy wasn't going to be sleeping with us, but the past week he's been so active in his sleep (ie, kicking and moving around) that I decided it was worth it to have to get out of bed to feed him at night if I am able to get a few hours of sleep without getting kicked in the ribs.